You Are Quoting Shakespeare! by Bernard Levin If you know that the course of true love never did run smooth, Or have ever worn your heart on your sleeve, Suffered from green-eyed jealousy, Refused to budge an inch, Acted more in sorrow than in anger, Hoped for a plague on both houses, Knitted your brow, Been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, Hoodwinked or in a pickle, Made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, Slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, Danced attendance, laughed yourself into stitches, Had short shrift, cold comfort, Or too much a good thing; Seen better days, recalled your salad days, Lived in a fool's paradise, Been eaten out of house and home by your own flesh and blood- Be that as it may, As good luck would have it, You are quoting Shakespeare.

And, let me add, if you now bid me good riddance and send me packing, If you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, A stony-hearted villain, bloody minded, a strange bedfellow or a blinking idiot: If you wish I was dead as a doornail, Then –By Jove! Oh Lord! Tut Tut! For goodness sake! What the Dickens!– It is all one to me, –Even if it is Greek to you– If the truth be told, You are quoting Shakespeare!